Letters to the Prez
Last night, the Bruins rose to the occasion and the Canucks crumbled.
And now
debating the reason "WHY" they lost the biggest game of their lives.
And while
we've all been in this situation before...
... Where we had that big chance to rise to the occasion
and failed miserably.
We want to figure out why. We need to know where we went wrong.
And sometimes, when it all falls apart, we look to lay blame.
After last night's loss, Canucks players, coaches and fans might
be tempted to point the finger at poor officiating, sub-par goaltending,
or anemic goal scoring as reasons for their collapse. There may also
be undisclosed injuries and other facts unknown to the general public
that might have contributed to their failure.
I've discussed the dangers of playing the "blame game" before,
and after watching the game last night, I thought it was important
to reinforce that message.
Some of you may have read this message before - but it bears repeating
and should definitely be passed along to anyone you think might need
to read it.
:::: THE BLAME GAME IN GIRLS' HOCKEY ::::
There is one HUGE problem that is plaguing girls hockey right now
that players, parents and coaches all have to take responsibility for.
Not only is it destroying players' confidence and causing infighting
among team members, but it almost always back-fires.
We have completely gotten away from the team first mentality.
It's all about "me"...
... "I've got to score goals so I get noticed and recruited".
... "But coach - I play center, not wing".
... "If I was out there in the final minute of the game, we would have won."
... and I'm sure you can come up with many more examples of how
you've seen your teammates, parents or coaching staff use negativity
towards someone else in order to make themselves feel better.
We want to play the BLAME game.
- Players blaming their teammates for the loss.
- Parents blaming their daughter's coach or teammates for a poor performance.
- Coaches blaming questionable calls for losses.
And we rarely do this in front of the person we're blaming -
we typically do it behind their backs.
It's time to "own up".
We want to blame everyone else when things don't go our way,
instead of taking responsibility for our role in it.
You don't lose hockey games because one player on your team doesn't
pass the puck to you on a 2-on-1. You don't lose because the coach
put the "wrong" players out on the power-play. And you don't lose
because that one kid on your team missed a couple of practices.
All those things may contribute to the loss.
But they aren't the direct cause.
Every single member of the team contributes to every win and loss.
Last time I checked, hockey was still a team sport.
You win together and you lose together - period.
And when you start blaming certain players and coaches,
or questioning decisions, here's the message you're sending:
:::: When The Going Gets Tough, And You Don't Come Out On Top,
It's NOT Your Fault. ::::
And that turns into a slippery slope very quickly.
It's always easier to blame someone else or something else for the loss.
It's a lot harder to take responsibility for your part in the loss and
focus on what you need to do to prevent it from happening again.
Becoming the best isn't about making everyone else feel worse.
It's about making the harder choices, looking at yourself in the mirror
and being 100% honest with yourself.
So....
=> Parents: The next time you get in the car with your daughter and start
going off about the bad decisions the coach made or the actions of
the other players on your team, please think of the message that
you are sending your daughter.
=> Coaches: The next time you find yourself ranting and raving about
how the ref screwed up the game, or about how the other team won
only because their coach "stole" all the best players from another team,
please think of the message that you are sending your players, parents
and staff.
=> Players: The next time you decide that saying negative things about
one of your teammates will make you feel better about your own game,
think about how you would feel if you found out one of your teammates
was saying the same kinds of things about you.
You chose to be involved with a team sport. Which means that you've
got to act in a way that supports and nourishes the team environment,
even if you're convinced that someone else screwed everything up.
And in order to be successful, you've got to come together in the hard times
- not pull apart.
TEAM FIRST. YOU SECOND.
Thanks for reading this message - please pass it along to anyone else
that you think might benefit from it.
Keep Working Hard, Dreaming BIG and Taking Responsibility.
Your friend and coach,
Kim
PS - For more information about our upcoming Summer Camps,
please visit: http://totalfemalehockeyclub.com/camps-schools/